Aliens aren't just passersby
by balfies
Summary: Are the Slitheen annoying Bannerman Road for their own enjoyment or do they have ulterior motives? Drahkma Slitheen wants revenge - the killing kind. Rani & Clyde find themselves in her clutches; can Sarah Jane, Luke & Maria get to them in time?
1. Chapter 1 A Lost Traveller

_Second SJA fic – this one hopefully more complex than the former. I'll update it when I get the chance to._

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

**Chapter One – A Lost Traveller**

"Rani, Clyde; see if there's anything down that corridor – something we could use to trap it. Luke and I will distract it. Go!"

Sarah Jane's command echoed through the white-tiled hallways of the abandoned hospital, only just audible over their loud running. Behind them a snarl emitted from the angered hrorgaein, its black eyes wide open with a mixture of stupidity, curiosity and rage at its visitors. It had bristled rust-coloured skin and two camel-like legs that supported its rotund body. Clyde had thought it looked rather like a million-toothed warthog with the wrong number of limbs. Mr Smith's scanner had indicated that it had been left behind about 60 years ago in suspended animation, but something had woken it up recently.

Hrorgaeins are renowned for being exceptionally stupid creatures unaware of their own strength. Given that they weigh around the same as a small car and have the temper of a pair of scissors, this makes them very, very dangerous animals to be around. The one the Bannerman Road crew were facing had probably been mistaken for dead by its owners when it had been dropped off at Earth, and Sarah Jane was hoping that they'd be able to send it home soon.

Clyde and Rani tore down the hallway Sarah Jane had pointed to, bashing open each of the doors in the hopes of finding something that could keep the alien creature under wraps for a few minutes: a net, a tarp or a big cage would be helpful. Behind them, Sarah Jane was pulling a chunk of meat out from her handbag to distract the creature while Luke was feverishly pushing the hrorgaein's home planet coordinates into a teleport device they'd salvaged from a crashed Sontaran ship.

"This useful?" said Clyde.

"It'll have to do, that thing's getting restless," said Rani, taking the bundle of bed sheets from his arms and scooting hurriedly back up the corridor, trying not to trip over the sheets.

The hrorgaein didn't see Clyde and Rani sneak up behind it with the dirtied sheet, nor did it realise it was trapped under a sheet until ten seconds after it had happened (trust me, they are _really _stupid creatures). By the time it had realised it was trapped, it was in little pieces in a state of semi-teleportisation in the Andromeda system, and when it had freed itself of the stained hospital sheet, it had materialised on its home planet of Garrh, ready to start a new life as a wild hrorgaein.

Back on Earth, Sarah Jane was congratulating her team on another successful encounter.

"I think we handled that very neatly," she was saying. "Luke, well done putting in the coordinates – when did you learn those?"

"I got bored one day so I got Mr Smith to teach me the coordinates of Stage 7 planets within 5million lightyears of Earth," he replied casually.

"I might have a word to Mr Smith about how much information he thinks is possible to squeeze into your head," Sarah Jane said. "And good job Rani and Clyde for finding that sheet, that made things very easy."

"I take no credit at all," said Rani.

"Yeah, I did all the work in finding that sheet, so it's really thanks to me that we weren't trampled to death by old angry back then," said Clyde. "Clyde Langer saves the day again!"

Rani rolled her eyes.

"The question," said Sarah Jane "is what woke up the hrorgaein from its suspended animation? Because nothing on Earth has the right frequency."

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

_Ooh, suspenseful… What will happen? WHO KNOWS! I'm making this up as I go, so bear with me loves._

_Remember: every review saves a unicorn's life!_


	2. Chapter 2  Androids in Conflict

_I'm going to try to update these in between homework, but don't hold me at gunpoint over it, ok?_

_Remember: every review saves a unicorn's life! (I will NEVER get tired of saying that.)_

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

**Chapter Two – Androids in Conflict**

Luke, Clyde and Rani collapsed onto the couch in the attic. Luke was home from uni for a few weeks, so the three of them were spending as much of their shared time aliening as possible.

"Sarah Jane."

The level voice of Mr Smith greeted them.

"Hello Mr Smith. The creature was returned home with minimal effort, as it turns out."

"I'm glad to hear it, Sarah Jane. May I enquire as to what the alien was? All I could determine in my scans was that a foreign animal had awoken from suspended animation by means far beyond humans."

"It was a hrorgaein from Garrh in the Cystorrin System."

"That explains why I couldn't detect the species, Sarah Jane," the xylok said. "My scanners are pitched to detect alien life but can only provide species detail if it gives off conscious thought. Hrorgaein brains are not known for being able to complete a task much more complex than avoiding walls."

"Species detection is a task not beyond even the simplest computer." This proclamation came from the corner of the room. "I am unsurprised to learn that your programming does not allow for such undemanding chores, Mr Smith," the electronic voice continued.

Luke's return had also meant the homecoming of K9. Along with this came the metal dog's recurring disagreements with Mr Smith.

"K9," said Mr Smith, firing up his arguing circuits. "If you could detect the species, why didn't you inform Sarah Jane before she left?"

"Enough, both of you!" said Sarah Jane. "Despite your advanced computing systems which are more complex than anything Earth will see for at least 700 years, you argue like a pair of pigeons squabbling over a…a…"

"Bag of bread?" suggested Rani.

"Yes!" Sarah Jane said in frustration. "You will just have to learn to respect each other's qualities. I was meaning to ask Mr Smith something, but you two will sort out your problems first."

"Sorry, Mistress," said K9, his head bowing slightly in shame.

"My apologies, Sarah Jane," said Mr Smith.

"Thankyou. Now. Who's up for a cup of tea?"

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

"Will K9 and Mr Smith be alright?" Rani asked when they'd gone downstairs.

"Or are they going to laser computer viruses to each other until one reboots itself?" asked Clyde.

"K9's circuits looked okay when I updated them a few months ago," said Luke, overly concerned by the situation.

Luke had recently rewired K9's mobility circuits: now the metal dog was about as fast as his human counterparts were when they ran. Sadly, he could only move fast on level surfaces, and his hover pad was much slower. Getting down the three flights of stairs in Sarah Jane's house took him about five minutes, which was not especially useful if everyone was in a rush to 'go aliening' as Clyde so elegantly called it.

"Oh, I'm sure Mr Smith and K9 will be fine," said Sarah Jane confidently. "Their programming telling them to argue with each other is overrun by their programming to obey my orders."

Luke laughed. It was nice being back home.

"I'll go put the kettle on, shall I?" suggested Rani, heading into the kitchen.

"So, how do you think Rani'll take Maria's arrival?" asked Clyde quietly.

"They've talked on webcam before, I'm sure it'll be fine," said Luke.

Maria was coming over from America to visit her mum in a week or two, but they'd made her promise to spend every available moment with them. Maria's mum, Chrissie, said she'd be happy for her daughter to spend time with Sarah Jane on the condition that Maria was returned safely home to her flat for dinner every night. Maria was also required to go on at least two shopping sprees with her mum during the trip. Maria hadn't seemed exceptionally excited by the prospect. Unlike Rani, Maria wasn't big on shopping.

"Clyde!" Rani called from the kitchen. "How do you like your tea? I forget every time."

"Black, one sugar, same as you!" he called back.

"Right, knew that!"

"Can't remember anything, that one," said Clyde.

"I heard that!" Rani shouted indignantly.

Clyde laughed.

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

Having consumed the deliciousness that was their tea and home-made spongecake, everyone traipsed back upstairs to see how the two machines were faring.

"Having listened to your many invalid points, K9, I have come to the conclusion that I am the computer with a wider range of abilities and higher chance of being taken seriously. You are nothing more than a programmable oddity item with a mobile analysis feature."

"I will have to disagree with your point there, Mr Smith. I travelled with the Doctor and his companions in the TARDIS for many years, and have much more experience with other life forms than you do. I am more approachable, more agreeable and more reliable."

"Honestly, you two, when will you ever agree?" said Sarah Jane in exasperation.

"My apologies, Mistress," said K9. "I will succeed in the endeavour on the next attempt."

"I highly doubt that," retorted Mr Smith.

Sarah Jane sighed.

"Oi, budge," Clyde said, nudging Rani.

Rani shook her head.

"I am staying here. This couch is mine. Find your own," she said.

"Mr Smith, can you trace the frequency that was used to wake up the hroraegin?" she asked, having come to the conclusion that neither android would see the other's perspective without a heavy duty rewiring.

"Scanning now," the xylok answered in his ever-patient voice.

Sarah Jane paced back and forth, tapping her finger on her sonic lipstick absent-mindedly. Luke and Clyde seated themselves on the step after deducing that Rani was not about to move from her position sprawled over the couch.

"Sarah Jane."

She looked up from her pacing. The deep purple lines that had been buzzing animatedly had vanished, replaced with the kaleidoscopic crystal pattern Mr Smith displayed when talking.

"I have the readings here. The frequency used was at a pitch far beyond anything that could be replicated by any form of human technology. It would be completely inaudible to most forms of life in the universe, but hrorgaeins are one of the few life forms that have ears sensitive enough to react to it."

"What do you mean, react to it?" asked Rani.

"There is a pitch found on some mobile phones that has been nicknamed 'the mosquito'," Mr Smith said, "which creates a painful buzz in the ears of children, but is too high to be heard by adults. The frequency used to wake up the hrorgaein works similarly to 'the mosquito', but is much higher pitched and much more painful – painful enough to pierce through the suspended animation and wake the animal up."

"Is that why it was so angry?" said Clyde. "Cause it felt like something had been drilling into its head?"

"Negative, Master Clyde," K9 said. "Hrorgaein just have a natural bad temper."

"So," Sarah Jane continued. "What caused the frequency blip?"

"A low flying starship created the frequency wave," Mr Smith answered her. "It wasn't targeted just in that area. From what I can tell by my cross-referencing with other hyper-sensitive computers, it was sent over the whole world."

"Could it have caused any damage or woken anything else up?"

"I highly doubt it Sarah Jane. The frequency transmitted was at an exact pitch of 208,045.673540023657-"

"Yes, I understand Mr Smith."

"Only the hrorgaeins react to such a precise pitch."

"So the frequency wave wasn't accidental, then?" asked Rani.

"Why would anyone fly close to Earth just to wake up an angry alien pig?" ask Clyde. "Why would you bother?"

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

I need to improve on this chapter lark, don't I?


	3. Chapter 3 We Discover the Bad Guys

_Hello again. I enjoy writing these and stuff._

_Remember: every review saves a unicorn's life! (Whatever you say, I will never not write that at the start of my stories…muahahahahahahahahahahaha!)_

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

**Chapter 3 – With One Leap We Discover the Bad Guys**

The following weekend, Rani, Clyde and Luke headed into town to see a movie. Rani's mum Gita had dropped her off in the morning to meet some other friends, so Clyde and Luke walked there together after lunch.

Rani was sitting cross-legged on a bench reading her book when the boys found her. Clyde wolf whistled to grab her attention. She poked her tongue out in response, tucked her book away into her bag and ran across the street to them.

To her dismay, Rani was restrained from all shoe shops. Clyde and Luke had experience with Rani's shopaholic tendencies: when let loose in a shoe shop she would emerge an hour later with a stack of boxes piled up to her chin. They didn't need a repeat of the last time they'd let her "have a quick look" whereupon she had proceeded to spend £250 alone on a pair of boots.

"But they're so pretty! I _need_ them!" Rani was saying, trying to convince the boys to let her at a pair of patent leather heels.

"Rani, you have a pair just like that at home," said Clyde. "And they're too expensive, and we're going to miss the movie. Oh come on!" he said, pulling her away from a shop window in exasperation.

Rani pouted all the way to the cinema. Clyde kept a firm grip on her wrist to make sure she didn't run away. Luke, on the other hand, was killing himself laughing.

"Why is shopping so significant to girls?" he stopped laughing to ask her. "I don't understand the concept – it's just exchanging money for possessions. What's so fascinating about it?"

"I get a rush when I buy something. It's like I know my life will be better when I buy it: the shirt or the bag or the shoes – oh, the shoes," she whimpered longingly as she was pulled away from a shop displaying four inch heels. "I read somewhere that shopping is what's left over from early hunting skills from prehistoric times – they release a similar chemical in the brain."

Clyde looked at her quizzically.

"So, Clyde," said Luke. "What film are we watching?"

"You know I'm not really one for arty stuff, and Rani doesn't like violence and you just don't get comedies or romance, so I thought we'd go for a kid's movie."

"Safe choice," said Rani, smiling bemusedly at his choice. "Not exactly cool, but safe."

Clyde looked slightly concerned that his seemingly smart solution was not cool.

"It's okay Clyde," said Luke. "You're with Rani and me. That immediately cancels out any chance of you being cool. We're the weird kids who're always out when aliens invade – remember?"

Clyde laughed.

They glided up the escalator to the ticket office. Rani, having spent her money on a red scarf before the boys had arrived, sheepishly announced she didn't have enough money for the film, so Clyde paid for her ticket and accompanying 3D glasses.

"I'm going to wear these glasses everywhere and you cannot stop me," said Rani.

The trio ran up the few steps to the cinema, and as they handed their tickets to the usher at the entrance, a piercing vibration penetrated their ears. Everyone around them dropped whatever they were holding and slapped their hands to their heads to try to rid their brains of the noise. Then, as suddenly as it had started, the noise stopped, but it echoed throughout the building. The white noise in the background started again as people continued talking.

"Ow, my ears," said Rani, pulling her hands away from her head to pick up her bag.

"What the hell was that?" said Clyde.

The three of them looked towards the cinema, then turned to face each other.

"We've got to get back to Mum," Luke said.

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

Sarah Jane looked around, her ears still ringing from the noise.

"Mistress," said K9, "What is wrong?"

"My ears," she said wearily. "They ache like a hammer's been driven into them."

She pulled herself off the floor, where she had fallen in fright, and stepped straight into action.

"K9, can you find me the exact frequency that sound was pitched at? And Mr Smith, see how widespread it was."

Sarah Jane heard her phone hum. She ran over to it, catching it before it buzzed itself off the table.

STRANGE NOISE AT CINEMA – ALIEN? WE'LL BE BACK SOON. – L.

So, the noise was at least as far as into town that it had reached her friends at the shops, but where else had it been?

"Mr Smith? Any news reports on the noise yet?"

"Searching now, Sarah Jane," the xylok said calmly.

Sarah Jane paced impatiently.

"Mistress," said K9." "I have detected the frequency of the sound like you requested."

"Brilliant, K9!" she said. "What was it?"

"It was at the exact pitch of 104.4698876439 –"

"So as long and precise as the sound that woke the hrorgaein, then?"

"Yes, Mistress."

"Sarah Jane." Mr Smith's search was finished. "I have found reports of the noise from all over the world."

"Can you show me?" she asked him.

Mr Smith's screen split into six spaces, and each space filled with news reporters talking hurriedly into microphones in numerous languages. Sarah Jane recognised the familiar twang of English, the coarse lull of Russian and the choppy tones of what sounded like Korean, but the others were a complete mystery to her.

"Can you put those on silent, Mr Smith?"

Immediately the six reporters were muted, and English captions sprung up along the bottom of the screens.

"Mum, did you hear that?"

Luke, Clyde and Rani had arrived home.

"Yes; the sound went all over the world," Sarah Jane answered her son.

"Someone's got a hold of a noise-maker, then?" Clyde asked.

"A very powerful one," Sarah Jane nodded.

"Can Mr Smith trace its source?" Luke asked.

"Scanning now," Mr Smith said.

"Poor Mr Smith. He must have spent half his life scanning for spaceships," Clyde said.

Rani prepared to roll her eyes, but then she realised she did it a lot. Suddenly self-conscious, she folded her arms into her chest and sighed. Luke looked at her questioningly.

"Starship detected," Mr Smith said, banishing the scanning ribbons and pulling up a green outline of a ship shaped like an oval disc. "Origin unknown, but I can estimate that it has not moved in a fortnight. Given its current position and the advanced technology the ship possesses, I propose that it was from the region of Clom or Raxacoricophallipatorius."

"Raxa-what now?" Clyde asked.

"Slitheen," Luke said pointedly

Clyde closed his eyes and groaned.

"_Again_?" Rani said in disbelief.

"They're just never going to give up the fight," Sarah Jane said resignedly.

"So they're just messing with human ears for fun?" asked Clyde. "Do we need to worry about them if the best they've got is a big set of speakers?"

"Oh, I think we always need to worry about the Slitheen," Sarah Jane said matter-of-factly.

"So what are we going to do now?" asked Luke.

"Firstly, we set up Maria's room – she's arriving in a few days, remember?"

Luke's face brightened enormously, but he quickly tried to cover it up. Rani smothered a giggle on the back of her hand at his shocking denial abilities.

"And then," said Sarah Jane, "we try to figure out what the Slitheen are up to."

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

_I needed to get on with the story – sorry for the sudden "SLITHEEN OH MY GOD" spiel. Stuff happens quickly in Sarah Jane: there's only a half hour to do it all, so I'm sure you can manage with my making up stuff to get out of corners (Doctor Who writers have been doing it for decades)._

_I'm aiming for an even balance of aliens and relationships – is it working? Hope so…_

_I had a dry spell for a few weeks because I used my exceptional talent (*le sarcasm*) for school work (happily all short stories). Watching Sarah Jane helps, I can tell you._

_I'm not as good with writing Luke as I am Clyde and Rani, and I'm very vague on Sarah Jane. I can only hope I'm up to Maria. My apologies to Russel T Davies if I screw up his characters completely._

_Whoops…this Post Script has turned out as a mini-blog. Deal with it._


	4. Chapter 4 Maria

_Ok, so I've had a lot of homework and stuff going on (year eleven is fun!). I'm trying to stick to a schedule of putting these out once every week and a half, but don't hold me to it at gunpoint or anything._

_Please review. They make me write faster and better and I love reading them. I like knowing there are actually people out there reading this stuff and I'm spilling out my humble imagination to more than clumps of tumbleweed and cats rummaging for food a few streets away._

**Chapter Four – Maria**

The day had arrived. Maria's flight was due in at four o'clock, and then she'd catch a taxi over the Ealing. The guest room had been set up for her ages ago, but Luke kept going in and looking at it, as if he was doubtful it would still be there. Rani was completely entertained by his frantic movements. Clyde was too busy drawing to notice.

Nothing else had happened on the alien front since the noise a few days before, which everyone was thankful for. It gave Rani and Clyde time to do some of the holiday homework they'd been given. At any rate, it gave Rani the time. Clyde couldn't care less about how Henry the fifth displayed authority over his people.

Luke felt too far away from the door up in the attic, so he dragged Clyde and Rani downstairs into the living room. Sarah Jane was in the kitchen making everyone tea.

"You okay Luke?" Rani asked, holding back a smile.

"Yeah I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?"

"Your foot is tapping."

"No it isn't."

"Yes it is."

Luke looked at his foot that smugly jumped up and down.

"Right. Sorry."

He looked up at the clock again. It glared indifferently back.

"I'm sure Maria will think everything's fine," Rani said.

"What if she's changed?"

"Luke, she's Maria," said Clyde. "You spoke to her on Skype what was it… twenty minutes before her flight took off?"

"Yeah, but what if –."

There was a knock at the door. Luke stood up. Clyde and Rani exchanged glances and then stood up too. The three walked over to the door. Luke pulled it open.

"Maria!" Luke said, hugging her.

"Wow, Luke. You've…grown," she said, staggering slightly under his hug.

"And you've got an American accent."

"I do not!" retorted Maria indignantly.

"Those Yanks might think you're English," said Clyde with a mocking sigh, "but you're one of them now." He broke out into a huge smile.

"It's fantastic to see you too, Clyde," Maria tittered amusedly while hugging him. "See you haven't changed."

"I just hope I'm less of an idiot now than I was back then," he said, releasing Maria.

"You're not," said Rani, pushing through from behind the boys.

"You must be Rani," Maria said.

"Hi! It's so good to finally meet you!" Rani replied. The two girls shared a hug.

"Now, are you looking after my two boys?" Maria asked her, hands on hips.

"I have them under lock and key."

Clyde hit her. She hit him back without turning away.

Maria laughed.

"Is that Maria?" Sarah Jane called from the kitchen.

"Yes!" Luke answered without taking his eyes off Maria.

"Sarah Jane!" Maria shouted as her friend stepped into sight.

"Maria! You've grown a head taller!"

They embraced, and didn't let go for nearly half a minute. Clyde coughed.

"Sorry, Maria, your luggage is still outside, isn't it?" Sarah Jane said, slipping past the others to haul the red case indoors. "I'm sure Clyde would do the courtesy of carrying it upstairs for you, won't you Clyde?"

"At you service," Clyde said, taking a bow.

Rani laughed.

"I'll go get the tea, shall I?" Sarah Jane said.

"Do you want a hand carrying it up, Mum?"

"Oh, no, Luke. You go upstairs and fill Maria in."

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

"Oh, wow. I'd forgotten how awesome the attic is," Maria breathed when she got up there.

"Welcome home," Luke smiled.

Maria smiled back at him.

Rani stared at her feet.

"Shall I put the radio on?" she suggested, breaking the silence.

"Um, sure," said Luke, startled by her presence.

Rani twiddled one of the little silver knobs on the radio and it flickered into life.

"So, what's new with Bannerman Road?" Maria asked, sitting down on the step.

"Eh, not much," said Clyde as he came through the door. "Homework. Saving the world occasionally. Same old."

"You get heaps more homework in America," said Maria as the others sat down next to her. "I kept having breakdowns last year when it was exam time. But dad's really good and stuff. Talks me out of running away and becoming a nun every so often."

"I'm guessing the whole being a slave to a Gorgon would also put you off becoming a nun," said Clyde.

Luke, Clyde and Maria laughed. Rani looked puzzled.

"Oh, don't worry," said Maria to her. "It's a…thing…thing."

Rani nodded. She knew the look. She gave it to her father often when she and Clyde sneaked aliens into the conversation.

Maria started laughing again.

"Sorry," she said, gathering herself to answer their confused looks. "Long flight. I might laugh at some of Clyde's jokes I'm so tired."

Rani covered her laugh with the back of her hand. Clyde gave her a pointed look of mock woundedness.

"You know, I think I'll go downstairs to help mum after all," said Luke decisively. "Coming Clyde?"

"Apparently," Clyde said.

The door to the attic shut behind them.

"Why are we leaving the two girls up there?" whispered Clyde.

"So they can talk about stuff. Girls like that sort of thing, don't they?"

Clyde shrugged.

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

Rani and Maria looked at each other.

"Why did they leave?" asked Rani

"I _think_ it was Luke's way of telling us to get to know each other," laughed Maria.

Rani smiled.

"You know, it's so good to have someone to talk to about all this," Rani said, waving her hand flippantly around the room. "Like, a girl my own age."

"I get what you mean," Maria said. "There's always Sarah Jane, but she's - ."

"Another generation, yeah," Rani finished.

There was a short pause. The music from the radio flickered slightly and kept playing.

"So how long have you and Clyde been like that?" asked Maria.

"Like what?"

"I know Clyde like he's my brother. The way he looks at you…"

Rani scratched the back of her neck awkwardly.

"Too soon?" Maria suggested, biting her lip.

"Yeah, a little," Rani replied with a short laugh.

There was a silence between them. Rani became very interested in her fingernails.

"As long as I can remember," Rani blurted, punctuating the silence. "We've always been like that, I guess."

Maria smiled knowledgably.

"You should ask him out."

"No!" Rani said, perhaps a bit too quickly. Maria raised an eyebrow.

"You should ask Luke out," Rani said.

It was Maria's turn to inspect her fingernails.

"I can't," she said quietly.

"Why not? He won't bite. In fact I think he'd probably be very relieved."

"America, remember?" Maria said.

"Oh. Right."

Another silence. They heard the boys' laughter from downstairs.

"Actually, there is something I should mention about that," Maria said.

Rani turned to face her.

"Go on."

"Dad and I are considering moving back to England."

"Maria, that's brilliant!" said Rani, breaking out into a grin.

"But promise me you won't tell Sarah Jane or Clyde or especially Luke. I'd hate to raise their hopes up or anything."

Rani nodded.

"You should've seen Luke the past week. He's been absolutely frantic making sure every minor detail is perfect for you," she said.

Maria's face flushed as she smiled.

"Luke's like that. Overly nice," she said.

"Like, he'll have a mint, and you ask for one and he'll give it to you," said Rani, "and then when you've half eaten it he'll say 'Oh, that was the last one, by the way.'"

Yeah!" Maria interjected.

"As if to rub it in how nice he's being," Rani finished.

Maria was nodding as she tried to shake the fit of giggles possessing her.

"That's so true!" she said, choking back tears.

Rani started laughing at Maria's laugh, and in that way that once you start laughing you can't stop, the two girls were still in fits of hysterics when Clyde and Luke entered the room a few minutes later with tea. The sight of the boys sobered them up a little, but an unintentional giggle would escape every now and then for the next few minutes. Luke and Clyde had no desire to be scolded, and so remained silent, just to be on the safe side, though they exchanged amused glances every minute or so.

"So what's new in terms of aliens and things," said Maria. "Last weird thing that happened to me was a really loud noise, did you get that too?"

"It's the Slitheen again," said Clyde. "They just get way too bored."

"So, do we know where they are?"

"In their ship. In space. Hiding," said Rani.

"Right. Well."

During the short lull in conversation, there was an eerie silence. The four looked over at the radio. It had stopped playing.

"What's happened to the signal?" asked Rani.

"Dunno," said Luke. "I'll go fix it."

He walked over and touched one of the knobs. A green spark arced between his finger and the receiver, and he jumped back in pain.

"You alright?" asked Maria.

"What the hell was that?" said Clyde, standing up.

The girls stood up to get a better view of the little radio. It buzzed slightly and went silent again. Then a voice crackled over the white noise.

"What's it saying?" asked Rani. "It's not English."

"It's not any Earth language," said Luke "Where's K9?"

The metal dog rolled out from under a table in the corner where he had been hibernating.

"Yes, Master Luke, what is it?" he said in his metallic voice.

"K9, can you translate the voice on the radio?"

The radio buzzed louder and the voice it emitted jumped threateningly.

"Processing now, Master Luke."

K9 extended his little nose rod. Sarah Jane came upstairs.

"Oh," she said. "You're already on the job."

"You heard it too?" asked Maria.

"The radio downstairs went absolutely silent. And then that voice started."

With a short blast, K9 was thrown back from the radio as it sent out a series of crashing noises.

"What was that?" asked Clyde.

Sarah Jane turned around.

"Mr Smith? I need you!"

The xylok puffed out his steam as he extended the multi-buttoned panels. Maria broke out into an unashamed grin.

"Hello Sarah Jane," Mr Smith said. "Hello Clyde, Rani, Luke, Maria."

"He remembered me!" Maria said gleefully, stepping towards the computer.

"Missed all this?" Clyde asked her.

"More than you could believe," she replied, her eyes glazed over. "It's like meeting aliens all over again."

"I thought your Dad did some part time work for Torchwood America?" Luke asked.

"Oh, it's not the same at Torchwood," she said, waving his suggestion off.

The radio buzzed loudly.

"Mr Smith," said Sarah Jane, "K9 had been unable to decipher the message the radio is broadcasting – can you make any sense of it?"

"Just one minute, Sarah Jane," he said.

Everyone watched impatiently as Mr Smith sent a green bar back and forth across his screen.

"Language identified," he said. "Translating now."

Eighteen squares came up on screen in a line. Each blinked, running through an alien alphabet independently. They came to a standstill, blinked red and then started flipping through English characters until a sentence was distinguishable.

HELLO, SARAH JANE.


	5. Chapter 5 Contact

_I'm updating this quickly. Helps me keep my mind off that maths test I probably failed the other day._

_I keep using adverbs in my stories. Sorry about that one chaps. _

_Please review. Reviews are nice. Reviews make this story nice._

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

**Chapter Five - Contact**

Sarah Jane froze at the words on the screen.

There was a tense silence. The radio buzzed violently once more, and then stopped its relentless chanting in Slitheen. Music started playing again. Rani switched it off wordlessly.

"Mr Smith, contact Torchwood and UNIT immediately," Sarah Jane ordered.

The computer pulled up the logos of the two alien-hunting corporations while he dialled their respective numbers. UNIT answered first.

"Unified Intelligence Taskforce, Colonel Mace," barked the brisk man at the other end. He was surrounded by other UNIT personnel in their black uniform with red berets.

"Miss Smith, ma'am," the colonel said, saluting her. The other UNIT officers saluted her as well. Sarah Jane Smith was a name UNIT was familiar with.

"How're you doing, old girl?" an American voice lilted lazily. Torchwood, and Captain Jack Harkness, had come online.

Sarah Jane smiled a hello at him, then inhaled sharply.

"UNIT. Torchwood," she said pointedly. "You may have already translated the message just broadcast to the world, as I have." The two men nodded. "But I don't want your help. Not yet. Please refrain from interfering until I say otherwise, understand?"

"Yes, sir!" said Jack, giving an over-the-top stiff UNIT salute and nodding.

A look of disdain for Captain Jack passed over the faces of a few of the UNIT soldiers.

"Why, ma'am, should UNIT agree to your request?" Colonel Mace inquired.

"I've saved the world many times before. This time I'm going to save myself and my friends and the earth. Without guns or violence or breaches of galactic law. I do not need you lot interfering with your special gun blasters and your zippy bombs. Don't even think about using them. Or I'll call the Doctor on you. Do I make myself perfectly clear?"

The UNIT members shifted uncomfortably at the Doctor's name. Apparently his companions were as fierce as ever; Sarah Jane, Dr Jones…that ginger from Chiswick. The colonel sniffed haughtily and nodded.

"Heard and understood, ma'am," he said.

"Give us a shout if you need a hand," said Jack, winking at her. "And is that Luke I see? And who are these other young-uns? Starting a space cadet academy are we?"

Maria giggled.

"He's hot," she whispered to Rani. They both collapsed into laughter.

"I heard that," Jack said, tilting his head in amusement.

The girls laughed even louder. Luke and Clyde smirked at each other, eyebrows raised. Whether the UNIT officers rolled their eyes in exasperation or affection, Sarah Jane couldn't tell.

"Much as I'd love to stay and socialise, I have a hostile Silurian to interrogate," the colonel said sharply.

"Gwen and I have a few Weevils to round up," said Jack.

"Go fight your battles," Sarah Jane said, in a resigned voice. "But not a peep from you two."

The colonel saluted her once more and blipped out. Jack nodded as his side of the screen dissipated. Mr Smith pulled up his web of bouncing geometric colours.

"Right. That's got _them_ out of the way," Sarah Jane said.

"Now for the slitheen," Clyde muttered. "Can't be too difficult."

Rani gave him a derisive smile.

"Mr Smith, can you detect the exact source of the radio override?"

"Yes, Sarah Jane," he said equably. "I have been monitoring the Starship since the last frequency blast. The communications shield that has been preventing me from establishing contact was pulled down only five minutes ago."

"Can you establish contact with them now?" asked Luke.

"Yes. But there's no need to," he said.

"No need to?" said Maria. "What do you mean?"

"They're contacting us."

His monitor lit up a bright blue and then flashed to a murky green as a pixelated image hashed its way onto the screen. Sarah Jane lifted her head determinately. The others crowded behind her; army-like, strong. Clyde was about to voice the opinion that their Charlie's Angels-esque positioning was quite good, almost as if they'd rehearsed it, but he thought better of it.

The image on the screen had a green tinge to it, and was pixelated diagonally: black bars occasionally skipped across the image. A figure blurred into focus. Large, blinking black eyes; three long, sharp talons on each hand; a green complexion; a sneer of victory.

"Sarah Jane Smith," the slitheen said. "We meet at last."

"We mean you no harm," Sarah Jane said boldly. "Leave this planet now, and the Shadow Proclamation will not have to hear of your interference with a Level Five planet."

"You wouldn't want the Judoon on you, would you?" asked Rani.

"Shadow Proclamation? Judoon?" the slitheen cackled madly. "What fine vocabulary you humans have."

Sarah Jane stared at him indifferently.

"We may be humans," she said proudly. "But we've saved the world countless times!"

The slitheen rolled around in its seat with maniacal laughter.

"What do you want?" Clyde asked it.

"I am Slitheen Drahkma," she said. "My family have come to earth before, but they did not return to the mother Starship with the loot as planned. After a few years of tracking down their story, I was lead to you, Miss Smith."

Sarah Jane shifted her weight to her other foot.

"It was you who foiled their plans with the school buildings, you who prevented the horrors of my Slitheen-Blathereen cousins, you who were victorious over them with what luck and tricks you found," Slitheen Drahkma continued. "You who…who killed my husband."

The last statement had a profound effect on the group. Maria clapped her hand over her mouth in shock. Luke's jaw dropped. Clyde closed his eyes, wincing. Rani murmured something indistinguishable under her breath as she looked at her shoes.

"Your husband?" Sarah Jane said, her voice laced with dread for what monologue was to come.

"Slitheen Jeffery. Convenient that the human whose skin he slipped into had the same name as him."

"Hold on," said Clyde. "There are aliens called Jeffery?"

"His full name is Jefferenarten, but we called him Jeffery for short," Drahkma said in a condescending voice.

Clyde raised his eyebrows cynically.

"I loved him. I loved him like no one has ever loved before. And you – you killed him! He asked to save you, and you didn't! Not even when my son – my beautiful son – asked you. He was twelve. He escaped, and then you thwarted him again. The two beings I loved more than anything else and you single-handedly ended life for them both. I am alone. I have lost my child. I have lost my love. Both by your hand. You're a cold woman, Miss Smith, and I don't like the cold."

Sarah Jane was worried. She'd seen slitheen excited as their plots unfolded, scared as they were trapped, relieved as they unzipped their human disguises, hungry as they smelled her out, but she had never seen a slitheen as passionate or vengeful or full of hatred and fire as the one before her. It looked crazier than the other slitheen they'd faced – wilder.

"What do you want from the earth, Drahkma?" she asked, keeping her voice as steady as she could.

"I want to kill you and all your little friends myself," Drahkma spat. "But before I do, I want to show you your world, and see your faces as those petty nations wage war on each other by my hand."

"You're going to start a war?" asked Rani.

The slitheen laid back in its chair smugly.

"And there is not a single thing you can do about it!"

She cackled again.

"Don't count on that, Drahkma! We have experience in saving the world, and this time will be no exception!" said Sarah Jane vehemently.

The slitheen disconnected the call, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes.

The five in the attic turned to face each other.

"This one's not going to be easy," said Maria.


	6. Chapter 6 The Unknown

_Had a bit of a stagnant week. But regular service will resume as normal. We're getting into serious Rani/Clyde territory now. Review?_

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

"Right, first things first," Sarah Jane said briskly. "You four get out of here, Mr Smith and I have some things to organise that I don't think your parents would approve of."

"But Sarah Jane!"

"No buts, Rani. Out."

The four of them traipsed out of the attic and went downstairs. Clyde flopped onto one of the couches in the living room.

"Well this is rubbish," he said. "Evil Slitheen overlady out to kill us all in our sleep and Sarah Jane sends us away. We're not kids anymore."

"What do you reckon she's doing up there?" Maria asked as she and Rani sat down.

"Probably going through top secret government documents or Luke's browser history or something," Clyde said. "Now _that_ is something no parent should see."

"You're a douche," Luke said as Maria and Rani laughed. Clyde took a little bow.

Maria dug out the TV remote from its crevasse in between the cushions, and the four of them spent a good hour and a half fighting over watching America's Next Top Model and the soccer. Strangely, Clyde was not in favour of the match.

At around five, there was a knock at the door. Luke went to answer it.

"Luke, you've grown a head taller since I last saw you!"

"Mum?"

Maria tore down the hallway and nearly knocked Chrissie over with her hug.

"Hey, settle petal," her mother said. "Nice to see you again, Clyde."

"Hey Chrissie," he said, giving a little wave from the living room doorway.

"And who's this?"

"Mum, this is Rani. She lives in the old house."

"Lovely to meet you, Mrs…" Rani faltered.

"Oh, don't bother with surnames, sweetheart, it gets too confusing. Soon to be Mrs James though, when the big day finally arrives next Thursday."

She exchanged an excited smile with Maria.

"Who is it?" Sarah Jane called down from the attic.

"It's my mum!" Maria shouted.

Sarah Jane arrived downstairs half a minute later.

"Chrissie, it's been too long."

"Hello Sarah. Still fighting those aliens, then?"

Maria frowned.

"What?" she said.

"Oh come over Maria, I've known for years. You didn't really expect me to forget that Sultana that I hit over the head, did you?"

"Sontaran," Luke muttered.

"Why didn't you tell me you knew?"

"You never mentioned it," Chrissie said. "Anyway, I've come to get you for that shopping trip!"

Maria groaned.

"Maria, you are going to get a bridesmaid dress that works with the flower scheme even if I have to sew it myself."

"You? Sew?"

"Knit. Cross-stitch. Whatever it is."

Maria laughed.

"How about a cup of tea before you head off, then?" Sarah Jane offered.

"That would be lovely, Sarah, but I've got to go – I have an appointment with my cake designer at five and this is the only time I can go shopping with Maria."

"After the wedding, maybe?"

"That would be wonderful. Thanks for taking Maria in, by the way. The house is in such a mess at the moment with the unpacking and the boxes and everything that she'd have had to sleep on the balcony."

Sarah Jane smiled.

"Did I invite you to the wedding? I can't remember."

"Yes, yes you did."

"Rani, Clyde: you two are quite welcome to come along as well."

"Thanks Chrissie," Clyde said. Rani smiled a thankyou.

"Okay, Maria. Ready to go?"

Maria nodded at her mother.

"Help me!" she whispered dramatically at her friends.

Rani laughed while Clyde smiled pityingly at Maria. Luke waved goodbye to her.

"Have fun!" he sang as she was dragged to the car by her mum.

Maria pouted.

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

"Can we come upstairs again?" Rani asked.

"No," said Sarah Jane. "Absolutely not. What I'm doing is to remain absolutely undisclosed – not even you can know what it is."

With that, she went up to the attic.

"I want to find out what she's doing," said Rani.

"She said she didn't want us to know," Luke said.

"You know what it's like with her Lukey-boy," said Clyde, motioning at Rani. "Once she wants to know something she has to find it out, even if it requires selling her family."

Rani thwacked him on the shoulder. He raised his eyebrows. Rani crossed her arms. Clyde tilted his head, tongue in cheek, begging her to defend herself.

Luke laughed. Rani and Clyde looked at him.

"What?" Rani asked.

"You two are hilarious when you argue without saying anything."

Rani poked her tongue out at him.

"Well, if there's nothing else doing here, I might head home," said Clyde.

"Well I _would _stay if you'd let me sneak up and see what Sarah Jane's working on, but you two are being killjoys," Rani said. "Besides, I have that bio thing I need to finish soon," Rani said.

"Fine then, abandon me. I'll play the guitar or make a city out of books or something."

Rani gave a short chuckle, walking backwards.

"See you later, mate," Clyde said as he opened the door and the two of them walked out.

Luke turned away from the door, sighed at his stubborn friends, and dawdled up the stairs where his unforgiving university assignments lay mocking him on his desk.

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

"Hey, what's the bio thing you told Luke about?"

"The biology assignment?"

A silent, blank stare answered her.

"The one that's 25% of our A Levels?"

More silence.

"Clyde, do you listen in any classes at all?"

"Well, you know me, Rani. Never one to miss a procrastination opportunity!"

"You are a hopeless individual and one day you will realise what an idiot you are," she said, shaking her head.

"Hey, I have a reputation to keep up!"

"You also have my father's disapproval to avoid."

Clyde laughed.

"Can we go through it together on Skype?" he asked her.

She sighed, smiling.

"Yes, you idiot. Now get."

He laughed as he turned left towards his house, and gave her a wave as he went. She waved back, and crossed the road to her house.

"Clyde?" she said.

"Yeah?"

"Don't forget, yeah?"

"Now Rani, would I ever forget to do homework?"

She laughed, shaking her head, and waved a goodbye.

Clyde turned around and exhaled loudly, smiling. He had to remember to turn Skype on.

He was about to turn the corner when he heard her voice call his name, but it was different this time. More urgent.

"Clyde!" she yelled.

He spun around to see a blue light fall about her. He saw her lips scream his name again, but he heard nothing. He ran towards her.

"_Rani!_"

A fierce breathy sound whistled around Rani and her hair started blowing about her. Her scared eyes met Clyde's; in that second he would have given anything to stop her from being so scared. She looked up as the light around her intensified, and Clyde covered his face with his hand to stop his eyes burning.

The noises stopped, as if snatched out of the air. Clyde looked from behind his hands.

Rani had completely disappeared.


	7. Chapter 7 Shock

**Chapter Seven - Shock**

"Rani!"

Clyde sprinted over to the spot where she'd been, feverishly scouring the ground for any sign that she hadn't been an illusion. Her footprints were all that remained.

Clyde looked up. Nothing.

He hurriedly dialled her number into his phone. He knew it by heart. He paced anxiously up and down the pavement, eyes closed. The phone bounced to voicemail. Clyde opened his eyes and inhaled sharply.

He ran over to number 13, barging through the front door.

"Clyde!" Luke said in surprise, but Clyde ignored him and leapt up the stairs three at a time to the attic.

He banged the attic door open loudly. Sarah Jane looked up from her security warning-riddled computer screen and took off her glasses.

"Clyde, I told you not to-"

"Rani's gone!"

"Gone, what do you mean gone?"

"She was standing outside of her house and I heard her scream. I looked over to her and this really bright blue light shone and then there was a wind and she disappeared."

Sarah Jane's eyes widened.

"Mr Smith? I need you!"

"Sarah Jane," the computer said as steam whistled from his keypad.

"Do a full scan of the area."

"Certainly."

"What's happened?" Luke said as he pushed open the door.

"Rani's been taken by the Slitheen," Sarah Jane said.

Luke swore under his breath. Thankfully his mother didn't hear him. He called Maria to tell her.

"What are we going to do?" asked Clyde.

"I'm going to talk to Drahkma and try to reason with her."

"But Rani is up there. She could be dying! Or tortured!"

"I know. I'm working as fast as I can, Clyde," Sarah Jane said. "I'm just as worried as you are."

Clyde nodded and sat down on the couch.

"We have been refused contact with the slitheen spacecraft, Sarah Jane," Mr Smith said.

Sarah Jane raised her eyebrows.

"What could have whisked Rani away? What sort of power would be required for that?" she asked him.

Clyde stood up again. Pacing back and forth seemed more productive than lounging like a potato. Mr Smith and Sarah Jane were conversing about the kind of teleport used to snatch Rani, trying to decipher a way of replicating it. He looked to Luke, who'd just hung up on Maria.

"You alright mate?" Luke asked him.

"Rani's just been kidnapped and we have no way of contacting the evil alien who took her," Clyde said. "Yeah. I'm _just _fine."

Luke cocked his head to the side slightly.

"Sorry," Clyde said quietly. "Worried."

"Really? I hadn't noticed."

Clyde looked at his phone again. The screen still had Rani's number up from when he'd tried calling her.

"She's going to be okay, mate. We're not going to give up."

Clyde nodded.

"Sarah Jane?" Clyde asked.

"Yes, Clyde?"

"What can I do to help?"

"Can you and Luke take my scanner watch over to where Rani was taken? Mr Smith needs more readings to be accurate."

"Sure."

Sarah Jane undid the strap and flung the watch to Luke, who caught it perfectly.

"Back soon," he promised his mother.

"You be careful, and don't get separated! It only took a minute of being apart from us for Rani to be taken. I have Mr Smith. You two have each other."

Luke nodded, and started towards the door with Clyde. At the exit, he stopped.

"Mum," he said, twisting around to her. "What about Maria? Will she be taken?"

Sarah Jane pursed her lips.

"Mr Smith?" she said without turning from her son. "Do you have that teleport catalyst yet?"

"One more minute is required, Sarah Jane."

"When you get it up, block the signal needed in the greater London area please."

"Of course. If I might add, the power needed to take Rani is very great. The Starship will need a long time to recharge before it can take someone else. Maria will be safe for now."

Luke nodded, his eyes gleaming keenly.

"K9? Keep an eye on the boys from the window, and alert me if anything happens."

"Yes, Mistress," the dog chorused.

Sarah Jane and Luke made eye contact. Clyde could sense a sharp peak in their unspoken conversation; Luke looked away.

"Back soon, Mum," he mumbled, flipping her watch onto his wrist absent-mindedly.

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

Clyde jogged across the road and waited impatiently for Luke. He looked up at the attic window at number 13 and gave a small wave to K9 who twiddled his ears in response.

"Where was it she was teleported from?" Luke asked him, watch brandished like a flame.

Before Clyde could answer him, there was a bang of the front door of Rani's house. Luke snapped the watch shut quickly.

"Luke, Clyde!"

"Hello Gita," Clyde said.

"Now tell me my darlings, you haven't seen Rani about, have you?" Gita asked.

"We were…just looking for her actually…but now that you say it out loud…she mentioned she was going into town with Maria earlier on," Luke said cautiously, going up at the end of his sentence so that it was almost a question.

Gita smiled warmly.

"Oh, that's alright then. I might just call her – see if she and Maria want to be picked up."

"I think they were going to walk back," Clyde improvised. "Said they needed the exercise."

"My Rani?"

"…I think they were joking?" he said unconvincingly. Gita didn't notice.

"Ah well," she said brightly. "I don't know what passes for comedy these days. You kids with your facebooks and your tweeters… I don't understand half the things Rani says anymore! Well, I suppose I'll be seeing you two around, then! Drop in if you pass the shop!"

"Bye Mrs Chandra!" Luke called out to her as she slid into her van. She waved cheerily at them.

"She is so funny," Clyde said quietly. Luke chuckled.

"So. Scan the area?"

"Yep," Luke said.

He lifted up the watch lid and pushed a red button. Small red and orange lines danced across the screen and then a series of numbers and diagrams arced over the square. Clyde saw no sense in them at all. Luke raised his eyebrows and inhaled sharply.

"What is it?" Clyde asked him.

"These readings…they're off the scale!" Luke said. "We've gotta show them to Mum quickly. Come on!"


	8. Chapter 8 Frantic

_Did you guys see the series six Doctor Who trailer? AMAZING. I am so excited asdjhgasljhgsdf!_

_This one's up quickly! Hopefully I'll get more written over the holidays. Review?_

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

**Chapter 8 - Frantic **

"Mum, we have the readings, and they're not good."

Sarah Jane took the watch from Luke. Her eyes widened in surprise.

"Mr Smith, can you analyse these readings?"

"Certainly."

Mr Smith extended the glassy tray from his dashboard. Sarah Jane placed her watch on it and took a step back. The data filtered past Mr Smith's screen within a few seconds.

"Sarah Jane. The readings are not good."

"Why, what's wrong with them?" Clyde asked.

"There are high levels of fluorine, oxygen and hydrogen in their pure forms – this is very rare. Normally these elements are so reactive that they bond together, but the slitheen technology has split them apart in such a way that they are separate."

"We can't replicate the teleport then?" Clyde asked.

"Not unless you have the energy of seven atomic bombs on you, no," Sarah Jane said.

"The starship has blocked all means of teleportation aside from the one they used to take Rani," Mr Smith said. "To gain access, we would need to replicate the teleportation or use one that undermines the system."

Sarah Jane shifted her weight and clucked her tongue in frustration.

"We need more time! If only the Doctor were here."

"He's not," Luke said. "And we're going to have to act quickly."

"I don't know what to do! I wish I did, I really wish it, but I just don't!"

Sarah Jane sat down on the couch and closed her eyes.

"We need another mode of teleporting, yeah?" Clyde asked.

"Yes."

"What about Mr White?"

Sarah Jane opened her eyes.

"Mr White?"

"The game console Ruby changed into a smart machine? She used it to teleport me up to her golf ball ship."

"I know what Mr White is," Sarah Jane said. "But we deactivated him, remember? Returned to default factory settings."

"I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure Mr Smith could restore him to his past life as a magic box."

Sarah Jane curled her right hand into a fist and caught it with her right hand absent-mindedly.

"It's not an actual teleport device. It'd get through the system."

"Mr Smith? Could you do that?"

"I transferred all data from Mr White's disc drive when I wiped him clean," the xylok said. "It might take a while to retrieve, but I could do it."

Sarah Jane nodded gravely. She went over to her safe, twisted the nob for the code slowly, and opened the thick door with a click. She lifted the white oval out and placed it on Mr Smith's outstretched tray. She took a few steps back quickly.

"Saving the world would be much harder if we didn't have Mr Smith," Luke said.

His remark was met with silence.

"I do not have the energy required for the transfer," Mr Smith said. "K9, could you supply more energy?"

"Affirmative, Mr Smith."

The metal dog wheeled up to Mr Smith and extended his nose rod. As K9 joined to a nozzle on panel left of the screen, his ears rocked back and forth. Mr Smith's screen buzzed to life. Mr White vibrated slightly, shuffling on his perch. With a sharp bang, one of Mr Smith's buttons popped, sending a shower of sparks leaping to the floor. Sarah Jane took a step backward, but nothing else happened. There was a microwave-like ping, and Mr White's screen lit up in a bright blue.

"Settings restored," Mr Smith commented. "Thankyou, K9."

"You are welcome," the dog said curtly.

"Welcome back, Mr White," the xylok said.

"How can I be of service?" the former games console said monotonously.

"We need a teleportation pronto," Sarah Jane said. "Mr Smith, do you have the coordinates of the spacecraft from the readings?"

"Yes, Sarah Jane, but I must warn you – the ship may have moved by now."

"Perhaps… rushing in there isn't the best idea," Sarah Jane said. "We have Mr White, but we won't use him yet."

"But Sarah Jane! Rani could be being tortured, or hurt or – "

"Clyde! We do not use the teleport unless I say so, ok?"

Luke put a hand on Clyde's shoulder. Clyde shrugged him off.

"We need to get in there!"

"Clyde, this isn't like the other times we've fought the slitheen. Back then all they wanted was to make the earth into a mint. Now they want us dead. Rushing in with no plan is one of the most dangerous things we can do!"

"They want us dead? What do you think they have Rani for? _They're going to kill her and we are just standing here!_"

"Clyde. We – do – not – panic!"

Clyde chewed the inside of his cheek in frustration.

"Thankyou. Mr Smith, contact the Shadow Proclamation, please."

"The Judoon? We're pulling the intergalactic police in?" Luke said.

"Yes. This is the last time the slitheen are messing with my planet!"

She turned to the screen where one of the ghostly Shadow Proclamation representatives sat regally.

"Please state reason for contact."

"My name is Sarah Jane Smith. I represent the planet Earth. We are currently under attack from slitheen, and request immediate assistance. I am now sending you details of our situation."

Mr Smith made a clicking sound as he transferred the information to the Shadow Proclamation. There was a silence as the woman on the other end read the document.

"Earth is a Level Five planet," the albino said. "Why should we help your planet? Who gives you authorisation to represent Earth?"

"I am a friend of the Doctor."

The Shadow Proclaimer's eyes widened. There was a flurry of movement as she informed her superiors. Whispered words were exchanged between the ethereal figures before the first one turned to her screen again.

"Your planet will be rescued. Please be aware that due to the primitive nature of your planet, as well as the many laws surrounding your solar system, and the distance from our Headquarters, the battalion of Judoon representing the Shadow Proclamation will arrive in a few days."

"A few days? But we need help now! Our friend is in danger!" Clyde said urgently.

The woman bowed her white head.

"We arrive as soon we can."

With that, the screen went blank.

"They're on their way at least," Luke said.

"A few days? Rani could be dead by then!" Clyde cried.

"We have to wait for them!" Sarah Jane said.

Clyde looked at her with all the passion in the world.

"You can wait for stupid rhinos to storm in with no common sense, but I'm going to help Rani!"

He ran to Mr Smith before Luke could hold him back, and snatched Mr White from the tray. He pressed the pearly button in the centre of the keypad and made eye contact with Sarah Jane. She screamed his name, but by then he was gone, sucked out of the air by a blue-white light and halfway through the atmosphere.


	9. Chapter 9 Enemy Corridors

As soon as he'd pressed the button, Clyde knew he'd outdone himself on stupidity. He had no way of knowing where he was going, no way of knowing whether the ship was still there and no way of helping Rani. By the time these worrying thought had passed through his head though, he landed with a shaky thump on a matte grey floor. Winded slightly, Clyde stood up.

He was in what looked like a landing deck. Most of the ship was painted army green, except for the floor, which was cool to touch.

With a startling hiss, the illuminated doorway in front of him began to open. He dashed to the side of the space and ducked behind a ramp.

Thud. Thud.

The clumsy footsteps were unmistakeable.

"I know you're in here!"

A wet slurping sound accompanied by what sounded like laughter.

"I saw you arrive, it's no use pretending you're not here!"

Clyde closed his eyes, hardly breathing.

"I can smell you, human! You smell of fear… and passion..."

The squelching of her footsteps slowed. She got nearer and nearer with every step. Clyde opened his eyes and hovered his hand over the pearly button on Mr White – maybe a return trip would be the best thing to do.

He slammed his fist onto Mr White. Nothing. Again? He hadn't moved an inch.

Laughter from slitheen Drahkma behind him.

"My ship disabled that device as soon as it came within reach. You're not getting back now, human."

Clyde gritted his teeth and stood up. He turned to face the slitheen, whose black eyes seemed to engulf him whole.

"Where's my friend Rani?" he said with all the force he could muster. "I'm here for her!"

The slitheen cackled.

"Humans. So primitive!"

And with that, she knocked him out cold.

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

"Clyde!"

Sarah Jane's cry rang in the air as he vanished. She ran forward to grab him but he was already gone. So unlike Clyde, rushing in to save Rani without thinking. Irrational.

"Mr Smith! Is there any other way of getting us to the ship now that Rani and Clyde are up there?"

"No, Sarah Jane. Not unless the Doctor shows up."

Sarah Jane listened for the hovering wheexing the TARDIS made, hoping with every mite of her being. Nothing. She sighed.

"What are we going to do now?" Luke asked her.

Sarah Jane sat down on the couch.

"We are going to monitor the slitheen ship and make sure the Shadow Proclamation arrive on time. There's nothing else we can do."

"What about Maria?"

Sarah Jane bit the inside of her cheek, lifting her fingers up to her temple.

"Get her to come back here," she said calculatingly. "Quickly. Chrissie can stay the night if need be. We need her here – not just because she'll be another pair of hands, but she's much safer."

Luke nodded and dialled Maria again to inform her of the latest instalment.

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

Clyde became vaguely aware of consciousness. He realised he was being dragged by the collar up one of the ship's narrow hallways. His eyelids seemed to weigh four times as much as they normally did. His vision was obstructed by his eyelashes. Clyde blinked. _Stay awake. _He blinked again._ Don't blink! Get used to the lights._ The bulbs that flickered past on the ceiling reminded him of the fairy lights Rani's bedstead was adorned with…_Rani._

Clyde was suddenly very awake.

"Get off me now!" he commanded. His demand was met with laughter. He was really starting to hate this slitheen.

"What are you doing with me?" he yelled.

"Putting you away for safekeeping," Drahkma said forcedly.

"Why?"

She stopped moving and turned to face him.

"You took away from me the two most important things in the universe. My son and my husband. I will avenge them."

Clyde stopped struggling. Drahkma's eyes clouded over. He tried sliding out of the grasp of her very unclean talons, but she tightened her grip.

"I loved Jeffrey like nothing else. He was a part of me. And he is dead!"

Clyde shivered.

"You will pay for his demise. I will make sure of that. You and that meddling Sarah Jane Smith!"

With that, Drahkma scraped her hand along the wall. A door Clyde hadn't seen slid open. It gave way to twelve alcoves in a semi-circle. Drahkma shoved Clyde into the fourth.

"You're not getting out!" she said, pushing him into the makeshift cell. Clyde heard a deep buzz sound as he was flung past a green forcefield. He realised it acted as the bars to his prison.

Drahkma waddled off, laughing.

"Let me out now!" he shouted, but Drahkma was gone. He touched the glassy green film keeping him from freedom and a zap went through his hand. He pulled back in pain as ripples darted along the forcefield from where his hand had brushed against it.

"Clyde?"

He turned to the corner of the room.

"Oh my God, Rani!"

He ran to hug her. He felt much safer with her by his side.

"Um, Clyde? Less hugging more kicking alien arse, yeah?"

"Yeah…right," he said, letting go of her mechanically. "It is so good to see you," he murmured.

"You too."

The pair sat down in the corner of their cell.

"So what happened? Why're you here?" she asked him.

"Impromptu rescue mission," he said nonchalantly. "One of my best friends got kidnapped by a psychotic alien, so I rushed in to save her without thinking."

Rani smiled. Then the smile fell from her face.

"Sarah Jane and Luke and Maria know you're here, right?"

"Yeah."

She nodded, then looked at him again.

"Can they get to us?"

"…No?"

"Clyde Langer!"

Rani hit him. Harder than normal.

"Ow!"

"Brilliant. I get kidnapped, you barge in to save me without a plan and no one can reach us!"

She sighed. Her hair was unkempt and she had large bags under her eyes, but she seemed unhurt.

"Wait, so how did you get here then?" she asked him.

"Mr Smith restored Mr White. I used him to teleport here but I think Drahkma's blocked all the signals now or something."

"Did you bring anything with you? Food? A contact device? A weapon?"

"Apart from my natural looks and charms, no. We're unarmed."

"You know Clyde, this plan of yours just gets better and better."

"Hey, I came for you," he said defensively. "That's the main thing.

Rani shook her head, smiling at him fondly.

"So, where are we now?" she asked.

"Space."

"Well done, Sherlock."

"Specifically over Wales."

The two were silent for a bit.

"Shit, Clyde, we are so screwed."

"I know."

Rani lolled her head back against the wall sleepily. Clyde looked around the cell. It was a lifeless blue-grey, animated by the green watery movement of the forcefield wall. The walls were padded with flat cushions. Along the back wall of the alcove was a small ledge. Rani was tapping her fingers on it absently. Clyde reached over and put his hand on hers to stop her. She looked at him.

"Sorry."

"That rhythm creeps me out," he said. "I don't like it. It feels wrong…bad."

She tapped it out again. Tap-tap-tap-tap. A triplet and a crotchet.

"It feels like it shouldn't be. I feel like I've heard it before and something bad happened. I never liked triplets," he said.

She looked at him and frowned quizzically.

"Well, someone listened in year eight music then."

"I thought playing a musical instrument would get girls. Sadly, that theory falls to pieces if you have no musical talent whatsoever."

Rani laughed quietly, but stopped tapping the rhythm.

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

"What's the slitheen going to do to us?" Rani asked him after a while.

Clyde looked at her.

"Well, I don't think she's going to throw us a surprise party."

Rani nodded grimly and then put her face in her hands.

"Oh God," she moaned into her hands. "We're gonna die and it'll be rubbish and I'm not even wearing nice clothes."

Clyde realised she was crying but trying to hide it. He hovered his hand over her back awkwardly – how was he meant to comfort her? She looked up and laughed through her tears.

"The general response is to give the person a hug," she said as her smile crinkled her eyes. The water caught on her eyelashes broke free and tumbled down her face.

Clyde acted on her words immediately.

"Hey, shh," he said, pulling Rani over to him as he wrapped his arms around her. He felt her smile. "We've got the best team ever on our side!"

Rani nodded into his chest.

"How are they going to save us this time?" she sniffed.

"Rani, calm down. We've got Sarah Jane. And Luke, and Maria, and K9 and Mr Smith," he said. "And if they can't do anything, we've got Torchwood and UNIT and the Doctor."

Rani sat up and smiled at him, wiping her eyes.

"Oh, sorry," she said. "I'm a bit tired."

"Rocket-jetlag?" Clyde suggested.

Rani smiled, her eyelids heavy.

"I'm going to go to sleep now. I'll just wait to be rescued like a damsel in distress if that's what this has come to."

"Does this make me Prince Charming?"

"No," she said slowly, shaking her head.

Clyde pouted and she laughed sleepily.

"Night," she said, lying down.

Clyde stood up to give her more space.

"No don't move," she yawned. "Stay." She pointed lazily next to her.

Clyde sat back down and brushed Rani's fringe out of her eyes.

"Night, Rani," he said.

Rani was too tired to hear his voice any more, but in her state of semi-awakeness, she could have sworn she felt Clyde's warm hand slip into her own.

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

_This chapter was the one that prompted me to write the whole thing. I got this first and wrote from here. I hope it's ok…_

_I watched the Master episodes of New*Who the other day and felt like there had to be a Drums reference (tap-tap-tap-tap). I hope you got it… otherwise that's kinda awkward._

_I also watched my first Classic*Who episodes – the first section with the Fourth Doctor and – you guessed it! – Sarah Jane Smith! It makes me happy to know she hasn't changed in forty years. And boy, was she pretty. God, Elisabeth Sladen and her many outfits – ugh. I wish I had them._

_Anyway – holidays now! So I'll write more/less, dependent on whichever way I interpret it._

_Review? Please? I'll know what to put more of in and what to put less of in and it'll improve my writing/ego!_


	10. Chapter 10 Proclaiming Shadows

**It feels like years. I was going to post something but then our darling Lis passed and I felt like I just couldn't write. Then I had yearly exams and before I knew what had happened, ten weeks had flown by in a whirl of assessments, assignments, projects and sickness. Anyway, I know it's not much, but it's important to set up the next chapter.**

**CHAPTER TEN – Proclaiming Shadows**

_Luke looked around him. The attic was hazy and slightly pink in colour, but he expected the colours had something to do with how tired he was; he'd fallen asleep with Mr Smith's spinning shapes looming over him and now his head ached. Rani and Clyde were back, sitting in the corner and giggling about something. He walked up to them._

"_Hey guys," he said._

"_Yo," Rani answered him in a gruff voice._

"_You guys okay after all that?"_

"_Bro," Clyde growled, before being interrupted by Rani._

"_So!" she said roughly._

"_How are you guys feeling?" Luke asked._

"_Toe! Mow! Low!"_

Luke woke up to see a curious rhinoceros staring at his face.

"Yo bro so to mo lo!" it said.

"Mum?" he called without taking his eyes off the sharp horn inches away from his forehead.

Sarah Jane shook herself awake from where she'd been perched on a stool in front of Mr Smith. She shook her head slightly and sat up.

"Yes, Luke?"

"The Judoon's here." He heard the door creak open, and nine other rhinoceros-headed policemen stomped in. "A whole Platoon of Judoon," he added under his breath.

"Like a cartoon?" Sarah Jane suggested. Luke smiled and rolled his eyes.

Sarah Jane passed her eyes over Luke, whose face was marked with cross-hatches from the pillow he'd been sleeping on, onto the digital clock next to him. It was 4.30 in the morning. Sarah Jane wondered how Rani and Clyde were holding up – they'd been on that wretched ship for a good ten hours now. She'd given up trying to reach them; the slitheen had blocked all frequency emissions. She turned her attention to the squadron of extra-terrestrial police.

"Hello. My name is Sarah Jane Smith. We need help, fast."

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

Clyde shivered. The cell was absolutely freezing. He wished he had a jumper or a blanket or something. Rani was curled up in a little ball next to him. Her hand twitched slightly under his fingers. Clyde felt like falling asleep, but he fought off the exhaustion by trying to think of the perfect way to assassinate the slitheen. He'd just come to the conclusion that death by Bieber would be the way to go when he heard her feet scraping along the corridor floor. He nudged Rani awake.

"What is it?" she asked sleepily.

"Shhh. It's Drahkma – she's coming."

Rani sat up.

"God, this cell is absolutely freezing," she said. "I am an icicle."

The door slid open and Drahkma swung in. Rani and Clyde couldn't see her very clearly because of the green forcefield that kept them in the cell, but her face carried what could have been interpreted as a smile.

"Hello humans. Did you enjoy your last night alive?"

Rani clung to Clyde's arm as she stumbled upright.

"Just leave us alone," she said, mustering what energy she could find to try to compose herself. The slitheen sighed.

"You're not quite there, love. Your hair's a bit wonky and you haven't got that rebellious tone to your voice. You're getting there, though. A few more years and you'll be an A+ prisoner of war. Oh! But you don't have another few more years, do you?"

Rani's fingernails dug into Clyde's arm. There was going to be an imprint there later, possibly a bruise.

"You slitheen are so damn annoying!" Clyde said. "Why are you always bothering us with your stealing and your killing and your idiotic plans? Go bug another planet!"

Drahkma wasn't listening. She waddled to the panel next to the cell and pawed at a few buttons. The forcefield buzzed twice, then went a deep blue.

"What are you doing?"

Drahkma wobbled over to the other side of the room and waved her claw at a panel in the wall. It slid open, revealing a flat disc with a stiff, pale pink mound of gunk in the centre of it and two smaller flat objects shaped like pears. She picked up the disc and slid it along the floor towards the cell. Rani and Clyde jumped apart as it skidded between them.

"What is that?" Rani asked.

"Your last meal. I would have offered you whatever you wanted to eat, but I honestly don't care."

"With all due respect, you're a total maniac and you should be locked up," Rani said.

"With all due respect? Learn your manners, human."

"She paid you all the respect you have earned from us," said Clyde. "That being none whatsoever."

Rani and Clyde high-fived without looking away from their captor. Drahkma blinked slowly before stomping out of the cell.

"What, you're just leaving us here?" Clyde shouted after her. Only the slitheen's footsteps replied.

Rani looked at the food on the floor. She picked up one of the pear-shaped objects and poked the gunk tentatively. The makeshift spoon stuck to it fast.

"You know, not to be rude to the delicacies of other planets, but I don't really fancy eating that," Clyde said, turning to her.

"Neither," Rani said, clucking her tongue. "I guess the situation could be worse, I s'pose," she said.

"How could this be worse?" Clyde cried, motioning to the cold, bare cell.

Rani thought for a moment.

"Yeah, don't have anything."

Clyde smiled then closed his eyes.

"You alright?" Rani asked.

"Yeah, just tired."

"The corner's more comfortable than it looks. I'll wake you up if anything else happens."

"Nah, I'm right.

"Clyde, sleep. Now." She pointed to the cell corner. Clyde knew he wouldn't fall asleep, but he slumped down against the wall regardless.

*O*O*O*O*O*O*

Sarah Jane repeated her greeting into the black rectangular box the Judoon was holding out to her. The Judoon plugged the box into its belt and closed its eyes. There was a garbled electronic noise like someone had run their fingers along a synthesiser.

"Language Assimilated," the leading Judoon said, opening its eyes. "Commander Lolo of the Centauri Cross-Section Judoon Department, Shadow Proclamation. Why have you called upon the aid of the Judoon?"

"My friends are trapped in a spacecraft above Earth," Sarah Jane said. She watched the Judoon pass the black rectangle amongst themselves, plugging it into their utility belts in turn. "I need your help to save them," she continued.

"What are their names and why are they trapped?" Lolo asked.

"Their names are Rani Chandra and Clyde Langer."

The Judoon nodded. It pulled a black cube out from another of its belt compartments and tapped their names in. It bristled, and breathed out heavily from its nostrils as it lifted its head to face Sarah Jane and Luke.

"Lady Rani and Lord Clyde were grounded by the Judoon two years ago. It is against regulations for us to aid those who have disobeyed the rules. Squadron, prepare for reflight!"

"No no no no wait!" Sarah Jane exclaimed. "It's no fault of theirs that they're trapped in orbit! They have been kidnapped by a rogue slitheen!"

"In my experience, Miss Smith, all slitheen are rogue."

Sarah Jane wasn't sure, but she thought she detected a hint of exasperated irony in the Judoon's tone.

"Judoon, assemble. We have a lot paperwork to fill out if we want to storm the slitheen's craft to rescue two grounded captives that are in orbit over a Level Five planet."

"So you'll help?" Luke said.

"Yes, human. We will help."

"Thankyou very much, sir," Sarah Jane smiled.

There was a silence. The Judoon leader tensed up and inhaled loudly. One of the other Judoon stepped forward and dragged Lolo back slowly.

"Lolo is female," it said to them.

Sarah Jane's eyes widened, but she quickly bit her lip. "So sorry – it's…an Earth custom to answer a merciful superior with 'sir'."

Lolo's movements stopped being as vicious.

"Understood, Miss Smith. Judoon – paperwork – now."

The upright rhinoceroses huddled together and pulled out their black cubes, poking and swishing their round fists across the screens.

"Nice recovery, Mum," Luke whispered.

"Oh, I have experience. I remember once meeting someone in the Horsehead Nebula who was male every other year. Very confusing, I must say." Luke laughed.


	11. Chapter 11 Crossroads

_For those who were confused as to why Luke the non-dreamer had a dream in the last chapter… Um… he wasn't really asleep – his subconscious was twisting the real world into what he was worried about. Cough. Anyway – this is the chapter that provoked the whole story! Hooray! Finally here!_

**Chapter 11 – Crossroads**

The attic door swung open, and Maria came tumbling through the entrance carrying the overnight bag she'd taken to her mum's.

"Maria!" Luke stage whispered, beckoning her over. She stayed where she was on sight of the herd of Judoon furiously typing on their boxes in the centre of the room. Maria looked at Luke for guidance, shrugged, then edged around the walls of the room on her tiptoes.

"What are they doing?"

"Filling out paperwork. Turns out rescuing Rani and Clyde breaks a lot of rules, but Mum's sorted them out straight. Oh, and be careful – the leader's a girl. Mum made the mistake earlier."

Maria took a breath in to speak but said nothing. She threw her arms in the air to make a loose 'W' shape, then plopped down onto the couch.

"I'll not say anything that might incriminate myself, then. Just let it all run its course, I s'pose."

"Shh! Keep your voice down!" Luke tilted his head over to the laptop desk where Sarah Jane was dozing.

"Okay." Maria spoke so softly that Luke couldn't be sure she'd made a sound at all. He chuckled and sat down next to her, tipping his head back against the cushion and closing his eyes.

"You okay, Luke?" Maria whispered.

"Yeah, I'm right. Tired, I guess, but okay. How was your mum's?"

"Fun. Her fiancé's really nice and respectable, got a nice job, nice car, fluffy dog, snappy tie. Good resume. So, after much deliberation, I gave him my permission to marry her."

Luke pulled his bottom lip into his smile.

"Have we heard from the others?"

Luke's smile faded.

"Not in a few hours, no."

There was a rustling from the Judoon.

"Three more minutes needed," Lolo snorted, turning her head over to the pair on the sofa.

Luke gave a clinical smile and raised one thumb in the air. Maria fiddled with her hands uneasily.

"Hope they're okay," she murmured, reining the conversation back in.

"They'll be fine. Clyde's perpetual cheerfulness will give Rani something to tease indefinitely. Those two could bicker forever without trying."

Maria smiled kindly at him. Despite his reassurances, he was worried – even she could tell. He chewed on the inside of his cheek absent-mindedly, his head lolling forwards making his hair flap about. Maria stifled a giggle badly enough so Luke heard and was tugged out of his worry.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Your hair. It's so…" here Maria pawed at it in amusement, "floppy."

Luke laughed quietly and leant back in the chair.

"Hey. They'll be fine – you said so yourself." She tentatively placed her hand over his. He twitched slightly at her touch, before pulling his thumb out from under her fingers to squeeze her hand. Their eyes met. "I promise you, everything will be okay," Maria said.

"I know. It always is."

Maria gave his hand another squeeze. He glanced down at her hand, as if unsure why it was there. He lifted his eyes back up the face her. He inhaled slowly.

"Maria, I–"

"Incoming call alert." Mr Smith's interruption seemed deafeningly loud compared to how the two of them had been speaking. "The slitheen craft is attempting to make contact. What should I do, Sarah Jane?"

Sarah Jane, shaken awake by the flashing xylok, strode over to the console. The Judoon looked up from their black boxes at the supercomputer.

"Alien technology."

"_My_ alien technology. Not to be in the wrong hands," Sarah Jane retorted at the bristling rhinoceroses. "I use it for the sole purposes of protecting the earth."

"And the occasional video game," muttered Luke. Maria giggled.

"Maria," Sarah Jane said in a way of greeting. The two teens stood up from the sofa and stood behind her. "Now, Mr Smith. Let me talk to this slitheen."

"Certainly, Sarah Jane."

The screen gave a quick, descending pitch-slide and blipped into life, displaying a clear visual. Drahkma stood proudly; victorious; mischievous; gloating in high definition.

"Hello Earthlings! How was your restless, suspenseful night?"

Sarah Jane raised an eyebrow.

"No? Not a peep! Well fancy that, you two, your precious Sarah Jane doesn't want to say anything to you!"

Drahkma twisted her camera to the edge of her control room where Rani and Clyde sat on the floor.

"Don't think of escaping, you two," the slitheen called over her shoulder. "That's a one-way forcefield containing you. Only I can take things out and put them in, so there's no use struggling."

Drahkma turned to face the camera again. Clyde pulled a face, and only Rani pushing his wrists to the ground stopped him from making a well-chosen hand gesture at the easily provoked slitheen.

"Here, Miss Smith, you will find me equipped with a blaster ray, and a very capable limb-lock chair. Oh sure, it's not as fine as the current model, but it'll do for a point blank shot."

"Please don't do this! You shouldn't have to kill anyone, Drahkma!"

"You didn't have to kill my family, Sarah Jane, but you did."

Sarah Jane looked away from the fierce glare Drahkma threw her.

"Good luck, Miss Smith," Drahkma snarled. "You have one Earth minute while my gun charges up in which to save your friends. I think I'll kill… the girl first!"

"Rani!" Sarah Jane's cry was cut off as the slitheen ended the call. Drahkma turned to face the pair with a mad grin on her face.

Rani instinctively grabbed Clyde's hand and bit her lip so hard that it bled. Drahkma's shadow loomed over the two of them. Rani closed her eyes as their captor seized her wrist and yanked on her arm, but she didn't move an inch – Clyde was holding her back with all his strength.

"Unhand the girl, human!"

"No!" Clyde's voice strained. "If you want to – kill her you'll – have to – kill – me – first!"

Drahkma shrugged and let go of Rani. "Makes no difference to me." Before Clyde could say anything, the slitheen had lifted him off the floor. He clung at Rani's fingertips, but they slid out of his reach. Within seconds, he had been dumped into the chair. The wrist-locks and ankle-binds snapped him in tight.

"Rule one of sacrifice: make sure the alternative is not on your opponent's 'to kill' list," Drahkma sighed.

Clyde struggled, but the chair's locks had bonded together chemically – he was stuck.

"Clyde!" Rani screamed, reaching out for him before the forcefield pushed her back.

"Rani! Everything'll be fine, I promise."

"Don't you dare lie to me at a time like this you idiot!" Her mascara had started to fall down her hace with the tears that caught it. "Just…"

Drahkma heaved the blaster gun off the table with a flourish. "For Jeffrey," she said with a demonic smile on her face. "Five."

"Clyde, just wait!" Rani shouted. Her voice cracked as she choked back some of her panic.

"Not much else I can do right now!"

"Four."

Rani scrambled around frantically on the floor, searching for anything she could use. She hit her head on the forcefield; it wobbled as it shunted her backwards into the wall.

"Three."

"Shit," Rani said, putting a hand to her sore head. "Shit shit shit shit shit! Shit!"

"Rani," said Clyde. His voice was softer. "Better me than you."

Rani clasped her hand to her mouth to anticipate his death, gulping back tears in vain.

"Two."

The world seemed to slow down. Rani lifted her watery eyes to Clyde, her eyelids heavy with despair and drowning with mascara. He titled his face towards her and bit his bottom lip. His eyes, – deep, warm – brimming with tears he held back, were momentarily veiled by the sweeping of his eyelids as he blinked. Rani breathed his name, mouth agape. He gave a solemn nod. The corners of his mouth turned up slightly, then his lips parted to make way for sound. Before he could form the words he had practiced saying over and over, the world resumed normal speed, and Drahkma called out the final number.

"One."

"Clyde!" Rani cried, clapping her hands to her temples. No sound came from the gun. Rani looked at the weapon. Drahkma still had it aimed at Clyde's head point blank, but hadn't fired it.

"One!" she repeated, more forcefully. Still nothing.

Clyde glanced over at Rani, his chest heaving. He turned his gaze to Drahkma again.

The slitheen squinted her eyes in concentration, but then threw the gun across the floor with a shrill scream.

"I can't do it!" she shrieked. "I can't avenge Jeffrey by breaking love apart, I just can't!" The slitheen slumped to the floor and broke down.

"You're… letting me go?" Clyde asked tentatively.

"No! Maybe! I don't know!" Drahkma spat. "Everything I thought I knew… I thought I loved Jeffrey more than anyone had loved before…"

Clyde looked at Rani. "Awkward," he mouthed.

"Look at me!" the slitheen motioned, turning to face Rani. "I loved Jeffrey only a fraction of how much you love that boy, and look at the extremes I've gone to to avenge him! I don't want to imagine the immeasurable damage you'll induce if I kill the boy."

"Me? Immeasurable damage?"

"I thought my love for Jeffrey could destroy lives. I just… wish I'd had your… planet-engulfing love."

The patches under the slitheen's eyes moistened – Rani realised it was crying. She didn't dare look at Clyde.

"I can't kill the thing I'm avenging," Drahkma wailed. "Especially not when it's so much more powerful than anything I ever had!"

Rani wriggled further away from the cavernous eyes of their captor.

"What am I doing here?" the slitheen covered its face with its hands and shook its head. "What am I doing?"

"That is something we'd like to know."

Rani flicked around. At the door stood ten Judoon, bold as brass. The leader – and she could tell it was the leader because it was the point in the V-shape the interstellar police had formed – pushed a black box forward at the slitheen. From the black box, a pulsing, blue ray of light emitted, forming a seal around the slitheen. Drahkma was too caught up in her self-questioning to notice.

"Drahkma Slitheen. You are under arrest as dictated in the eighty-first article of the Shadow Proclamation Code: the unauthorised capturing of two grounded members of a Level Nine Civilisation from a Level Five planet, namely Lady Rani Chandra and Lord Clyde Langer of Earth, punishable as seen fit by the head of the Shadow Proclamation. Nothing you can do or say will change your current position as viewed by the Shadow Proclamation and nothing you can offer the present representatives of the Shadow Proclamation will justify your actions. Please do not struggle."

"Um, a little help here would be fantastic," Clyde called.

Another Judoon touched Clyde's bonds with its black cube. The bonds melted away. The Judoon nodded satisfactorily before bringing its black box next to the forcefield Rani was contained in. Rani, freed from her prison, ran to Clyde and pulled him into her.

"I thought you were going to die," she said into his shoulder.

"I told you everything'd be fine, didn't I?"

She laughed chokingly, then let go of him.

"Home?" she asked the Judoon. He obliged, giving the top of his black cube a quick hit which sent the two into a blinding white light. They squinted as the light faded, but were knocked off their feet by a hurried force.

"Oh Rani, Clyde, you're safe! Thank goodness, I was so worried!" Sarah Jane pulled them into another tight embrace as the dizzying aftereffects of the sudden teleportation made the two teens lose their balance slightly.

"You're okay!" Luke hugged his friends after his mum had released them.

"Course, mate," Clyde smiled, trying to blink away the blind circles in his vision.

"Clyde! Rani! Never do that again, it was scary!" Maria gripped them tightly.

"Calm yourself, we're okay," Rani laughed.

"But it was definitely more than a minute from when Drahkma cut us off to when the Judoon arrived, what happened?" Maria asked.

"So there was! Did you two fight back? Or was there another reason why the slitheen took so much longer than she threatened?" Sarah Jane said.

"Well…" Clyde began.

"You see…"

"The slitheen sort of…"

"Realised?"

"Yeah. Realised, um…"

"She kinda had an… existential crisis and questioned her reasons for killing us."

"Strange. Never quite managed to pull that trick off myself, but it was an old device of the Doctor," Sarah Jane mused. "But anyway, you two look completely exhausted. Home. Now."

Rani and Clyde were only too happy (or was it tired?) to oblige.

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

"Existential crisis?"

"Shut up, Clyde. I had to say something."

"Yeah, well I guess it _is_ hard to think, what with that 'planet-engulfing' love for me and all."

Rani covered her blush by laughing sleepily. They stopped outside her house.

"Okay, well, I am exhausted, and, um, very confused," Rani said awkwardly, "but I will see you, tomorrow, maybe? After a full twenty-four hours' sleep, yeah?"

"Definitely," Clyde replied. He opened his arms to draw her body into his, and closed them in a hug around her. After a timeless moment, she pulled her torso away from his and smiled with half her mouth. Slowly, Clyde leaned forward to her lips, capturing them in his own. Rani eased into the kiss lazily, sweeping the tip of her tongue along his upper lip. She rested her forearms around his neck as he pulled his arms back to that only his fingertips rested on her hips. After a hazy minute of cataclysmic bliss, Rani unclasped her lips from his and gave a happy sigh.

"Laters," she breathed, before she traipsed – or perhaps glided – to her door.

_A/N: Epilogue? Yea? Nay? I shan't be the obnoxious-type writer who asks for a certain number of reviews in exchange for a new chapter, but some feedback on what I should do next with this story would be nice._


	12. Epilogue

**EPILOGUE**

"I feel like I shouldn't be here – I don't know Chrissie or anything."

"We're not really here for Chrissie – we're here as Maria's friends," Sarah Jane reminded her.

"Anyway Rani, it means you got an opportunity to go shopping and I don't exactly hear you complaining."

Rani poked her tongue out at Clyde.

"Did I mention your hair looks amazing?" he said.

"Four times. Flattery will get you nowhere. Now shut it, I'm on wedding dress lookout."

"I'm serious though. How did you even get it like that? All curls and waves and stuff."

"A magician never reveals her secrets."

"Will you two stop flirting? It's really off-putting," Luke scolded.

Rani and Clyde looked at Luke and then glanced at each other with raised eyebrows. The organ started up.

"Here she is!" Rani gasped.

Chrissie and Maria's granddad entered the church with beaming smiles on their faces. Chrissie's dress had cream flowers embroidered in a twisting pattern from the hem to her waist, from where the flowers crept up to a point on the left of her back. Then came Maria. Her hair fell down her back in gentle waves, just touching her cream, fifties-inspired dress. She gave a wink at the others as she passed them, then turned to face the front.

"Wow," Luke breathed.

Rani smirked, raising one eyebrow.

The ceremony was lovely – conducted by an old uni friend of Chrissie. At the bell-tolling conclusion, everyone gathered around the chapel entrance, marvelling at the groom's Jaguar.

"Luke," said Rani, "You're not marvelling at the Jaguar enough."

"Come and marvel at it some more with us."

"I'm fine for marvelling, guys," Luke said.

"At least you're fine for marvelling at cars," Rani lilted. Luke pulled a face.

"Go and marvel at Maria properly," said Clyde. "It's creepy staring at her from this distance."

"What, and it'd be okay staring at her like this?" Rani pushed her face an inch in front of Clyde's. She laughed at his raised eyebrows and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Oh, come on mate," Clyde said. "Go tell her she looks fantastic before Rani explodes and does it for you."

Luke rolled his eyes. "Fine. But let the record stand that I hate both of you indefinitely."

"Finally!" Rani said in an exasperated voice. Luke dawdled over to where Maria was.

"What're they saying? I can't hear!"

"Keep your voice down, Clyde. Follow me."

Rani grabbed his hand and led him closer to the doorway Maria and Luke were conversing next to.

"What kind of thing?" Luke was saying.

"Important. And secret. I don't want to ruin it for you guys," said Maria.

"Can't you just tell me?"

"No. Shush. I gotta go – Mum's calling me. See you at the reception, yeah?"

"Yeah."

Maria smiled at him, and then turned to leave. She walked down a few steps, pivoted, and then leapt up the steps again and kissed Luke on the cheek.

"Bye," she whispered, before running to hug Chrissie.

Rani and Clyde emerged from their hiding place.

"Well done, Lukey-boy! I'm so proud of how I've brought you up."

"Thank god that happened," said Rani. "The unresolved sexual tension was killing me!"

"Remember the record. I hate you both."

"Secretly you love us though. Not as much as you love Maria, but –"

Luke hit him before he could finish his sentence.

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

"I've just told the boys," Maria said as she came over to Rani. "You know, that I might be moving back to England?"

"That explains Clyde's excitable grin and Luke's ecstatic heaven face, then."

"Yeah, it also explains why I spilt some of my drink on the floor. Don't tell mum."

"I thought it was just a possibility, though."

"I talked to dad on the phone last night, and apparently it's a thing that is happening officially. We move back properly in two months' time!"

"Yes! I can talk to someone about boys properly now! And go shopping!"

"I don't like shopping."

"How do you survive in this world?"

Maria laughed overly loudly. Rani gave her a quizzical look.

"Sorry. Bit high on the whole Luke-and-me thing. And the moving back to England thing. And the wedding thing."

"And the champagne?"

"Hush. No one's to know," Maria giggled. Rani laughed, and then beckoned the boys over.

"So, how's stuff?"

"Maria's moving back!"

"Old news! I found out a week ago at least. You two are so slow."

"You horrible person! Why didn't you tell us?" Clyde asked.

"Sworn to secrecy. Anyway. Time to move to the dancefloor!" Rani said excitedly. Clyde groaned.

"Dancing is so not my thing."

"Liar," Rani laughed. "It'd be cool if you gave it a try. Come on, dance with me!"

"Help me!" Clyde whispered hoarsely as his girlfriend pulled him to the designated dancing square.

Luke and Maria laughed. Luke backed away to the edge of the room to sit down.

"Oh, no you don't. You're coming with me!" Maria scolded, gripping his hand.

"Why? Why are girls so adamant about dancing?"

"It's fun! Come on!"

Luke sighed and let Maria lead him to the dancefloor. Whether it was the predictable music or the crowd of people cheering the four of them on (it wasn't the alcohol – Luke's Bane-created system hadn't been affected by the four glasses of red wine he'd had), Luke enjoyed himself enormously, and found himself wanting to continue dancing even when Sarah Jane announced to the two couples at half past two that it was time to go home.

To the others, the car ride home was a hazy, but happy, blur, but to Luke it was everything he ever loved: his mum in the passenger seat murmuring about what a lovely evening it had been; Maria, giggling quietly in the back with Rani; Clyde, peacefully leaning his head on his new girlfriend's shoulder and holding her hand, just listening to what the girls were talking about; a message over the car radio from Mr Smith saying that K9's scanner had received a message from the Judoon.

"Let me put him on for you," Mr Smith said. Sarah Jane leant forward.

"Mistress?"

"Yes K9?"

"The message is as follows: the member of the Slitheen family known as Drahkma has been captured by the Shadow Proclamation officials and has been detained until her trial. Your help in assisting the Shadow Proclamation has been greatly appreciated, but it is reminded that the individuals Lady Rani Chandra and Lord Clyde Langer are grounded on Planet Earth, and are to remain there for the remainder of their lives."

"Well, there goes my next holiday to Saturn's eighty-fifth disk, then," Clyde sighed. Rani laughed.

"You know, I am so glad I have you four," Sarah Jane said. "No matter wherever any of us go, we'll always be there for each other, right?"

"Wherever any of us go," Luke repeated, glancing at his mum.

**-FIN-**

_Questions? Comments? Point out the inconsistencies (you won't have to look very hard, there are a lot of them)? This is a finished fanfiction now, ready to be stored forever in the Cloud. I want it to go down with a storm and not just be lost forever. Tell me, readers – why did you read this fanfiction?_


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